Forgive, Understand, and Love
by David Cowan

The title of this article is a “recipe for sanity.” Forgiveness comes first in the formula, because without forgiveness, there is no understanding. Please read that again, slowly. This is a very clear black and white issue. What we have not forgiven, we hold in separation. It is actually ourselves we separate from what we do not forgive, and it is ourselves that suffer for it. Why? Because separation is not our natural state. Being unnatural, separation will always give birth to fear. So, we secretly fear what we do not forgive. Fear is contraction. It makes us feel small, vulnerable, and insignificant. This is totally opposite to the truth about you, and so is a lie. What part of us would prefer a lie over the liberating truth? The ego would. The ego is also a lie, and so is not a very reliable lie detector!

Sin, guilt, fear, sacrifice, and anger… these are means by which the ego attempts to stay relevant. Is it any wonder that our dualistic religions cling so desperately to these concepts? Unlike this phony form of forgiveness, True Forgiveness arises from a deeper understanding of the human condition. We are all the same Being here, imagining itself to have split into billions of fragments, each fragment believing it is separate from its Source and all other fragments. This is the perfect formula for fear to flourish. A Course in Miracles calls this condition of separation illusion, as the separation from Source or Oneness is in truth an “impossible dream” chosen by us in our wild imagination and creative potential. We just had to check out everything… even the idea of separation. The Course goes on to say our big problem was we took our “dream” seriously and forgot to laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole thing!

As the result of our fall into the dream of separation, our first response was guilt… “Oh sh*%, what have I done?” This guilt was so deep and painful that we wanted to get rid of it as soon as possible, so we learned to project it out of ourselves onto some other aspect of the dream. Of course, the most convenient target for this practice of projection was other dreamers. So when you screw up in my eyes, I’m not even experiencing you at all! I am actually temporarily glad you did screw up in my eyes, because now I can get rid of some of my guilt. I am, however, only experiencing the projection of my unconscious guilt onto you! I am experiencing myself… which I soon realize (if I am being totally honest) is all I ever experience. If I can accept this responsibility without fear, I am on the road to liberation, awakening, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it, when we toss the false beliefs of separation and begin to embrace Reality. So let’s look at how this can work:

Scenario 1—A good friend offends me and I am deeply hurt. I realize I never really knew them… they probably always have been a royal jerk. I was just too naïve and blind to see it! How could I be such a fool? At least now, I can tell them off, and cross them off my list of trusted friends. You just never know who to trust, so from now on, I’ll be very suspicious and guarded about people who want to be my friend. I will stay safe, I will stay alone.

Scenario 2—A good friend offends me and I am deeply hurt. I understand they didn’t really know what they were doing, and were only projecting some deep pain within them onto me to try and rid themselves of it. I know this, because I have seen the same pattern in me. They really are no different than me. I know behind the behaviour is a sweet and well-intended person… the one I know them to be. Somewhere in their mind is a painful memory or one of which I must have reminded them. As I value this person, I am going to choose to overlook the behaviour, and instead see the call for love behind it. It is only because of love’s memory in them that they acted out and asked for love’s return. What they said about me or think about me has nothing to do with me, but it does say everything about the state of mind they were in at the moment they thought attacking me would help. In truth, there is nothing true about their belief in separation, they were simply deluded by the illusion and suffering from temporary insanity… something I am very familiar with myself! I love them, and can only offer my recognition of their Truth as a perfect expression of the Divine who has tied themselves in a knot.

When I truly forgive someone, a situation, a group of people, a country… whatever, I have refused to accept separation as a basis for our own existence, and have rather chosen inclusion, another word for love, as a better way. It feels better and it even miraculously changes the way I see that person, situation, etc. Now I have a basis to understand. Now I have a foundation on which Love can grow. Now I have become a true healer… of myself, others (different versions of myself), and the world. What do you expect from a dream… of course it’s crazy! But I have found the “key” to awakening, and it is so simple, anyone can use it. I am now free to forgive, understand, and love everyone and everything.

David and Erina Cowan are Blue Sun Energetics of Boulder, Colorado. They are authors, lecturers, and teachers of Soulful Communication (a Course leading to a License as a Spiritual Health Coach) and of Dowsing Beyond Duality, a Certification program in Spiritual Dowsing. The Cowans base their work on the teachings of A Course in Miracles. They also offer private healing sessions in person and at a distance. Visit them at www.bluesunenergetics.net. Also see the display ad on page 37 of the 18.1 May/June issue of the WHOLifE Journal for information on their presentations in Saskatchewan.