The Need to Be Needed
by Colleen Bond
In life there is a need to be needed by all ages. It took me some time to realize this was a problem I was going through.
It was the years our children were working, getting married, having children, that I took note. They all lived in the city, doing their own thing. I used to hear my friends talking, “cooing” about the weekends and holidays, spending time with their children and grandchildren. Their kids were home and they would be babysitting and doing all the cute things that went with grandparenting. Frankly, it made me jealous, listening to all the fun things they did.
As we have a health food store, it is a tie-down. We don’t get to go to all the hockey and football games like other grandparents do. We all have our life choices.
One day as we were travelling, we rented a room in a motel. After supper I got to talking with a lady. She said that when she and her husband spend a week with their daughter, she is busy all the time helping with the grandchildren, but it is hard on her husband as he has nothing to do. So they’d cut their visit short and go home. He was bored and didn’t feel needed. Later, I was pondering over what the lady had told me and I thought, “Voila! This is my problem, the need to be needed, a problem with many people.”
I have found that since that little talk and my own dilemma about not spending time with grandchildren, I am paying more attention to what others say.
It’s not just older people who have the need to be needed. Last week one of my friends told me about her family being home for Easter. Her three-year-old grandson said, “Grandma, can I do the dishes?” She told him, “Not this time,” and he said, “But I do them good, don’t I?” I told her I was writing an article about people of all ages needing to be needed.
Many lonely people have this need, not knowing what the problem is. It could lead to depression or medication if they don’t realize it. I think that in my journey of positive thinking it is important to volunteer; it gets you out of yourself.
In our lives of teaching dancing once a week and attending at least one old-time dance per week, volunteering at various things, and playing cards and shuffleboard, we hardly have time to visit our kids. Our daughter who is a social worker is relieved to know we are keeping busy. I am, too!
Positive pointers:
- Don’t neglect visiting family, they need you!
- Let children or anyone else help, if they ask to!
- Volunteer, it’s good for your mental health!
Colleen Bond is a reflexologist who lives in Kelvington, SK, with her husband Bob where they own and operate a health food store called The Health Bin. For more information call (306) 327-4391. |
