Self-Care is Never Selfish
by Bobbie-Lee Zeiban

The self-care craze isn’t about overindulgence; it’s just another way to recognize that we should all be finding ways to make wellness a priority.

Recently a friend lamented the growing self-care fad. “All the pampering, and ‘me time’. Wasting money on pedicures, and taking time away from their kids. It’s so selfish. I could never do it.”

The comment, spoken so adamantly, almost vehemently, really threw me for a loop. The woman sitting in front of me was sweet and thoughtful; generally she wanted the best for people. This seemed so uncharacteristic.

I reminded my friend that she loves her children enough to make sure they remain healthy and happy—that their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being is nourished. I asked her why she didn’t love herself enough to nourish that same sort of well-being in herself.

Our lives are frantic. We wake up each morning, rush to get the kids ready for school, scramble to get ourselves ready for work, and hustle everyone out the door. When we finally return home, we’re mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, and yet we still have to prepare dinner, take the kids to karate, and get ready to start it all over again tomorrow. We become so engrossed in just trying to get through the days that many of us forget to take time for our own basic needs. We forget to connect with ourselves and with our own spirits.

Self-care has become a recent craze. It follows the old adage that you can’t care for the needs of others until your own needs are met. Think back to the last time you were on an airplane. During their safety talk, the steward reminded you that, in case of an emergency, you should secure an oxygen mask on your own face before assisting others. Self-care is your spirit’s oxygen mask.

Intellectually we all know we can’t do our best when we aren’t at our best. Self-care just seems like the logical thing to do when you look at it from this perspective. Yet so many of us scoff at the idea of self-care. Who really has time at the end of the day to light a few candles and meditate? It just seems so self-indulgent.

The truth of the matter is, most of us don’t love ourselves enough to believe that we deserve self-care. We may use the excuse that it’s indulgent or extravagant, but really what we’re saying is that we don’t feel worthy.

When was the last time you did something just because you wanted to? When was the last time you did something for no other reason than because it felt nice?

Self-care has acquired a bad reputation. We see starlets and social media darlings going for facials or meditating an hour each day, and we believe that’s what self-care must be. We couldn’t be farther from the truth.

When it comes right down to it, self-care can be one of the simplest and most modest of activities. Yesterday I sipped a steaming cup of golden tea as I worked. This morning I belted out my favourite song as I showered. They were both simple acts of self-love that enriched my sense of well-being. They didn’t cost a small fortune to implement, and they didn’t take me away from my family. What they did do was recharge my batteries and make me feel wonderful.

The self-care craze isn’t about overindulgence; it’s just another way to recognize that we should all be finding ways to make wellness a priority.

Your spirit is screaming out for your attention. Take two minutes out of your day, and give it a little bit of love.

Bobbie-Lee Zeiban is passionate about helping people create lives of well-being and empowerment. She’s a Reiki master who’s been practising for nearly 20 years, and is a recurring contributor to the wellness site EmpowerMyPotential.com. She believes we all have the power to live blessed lives. To contact her call (306) 526-1618.